To everyone I used to love

To everyone I used to love, this is a formal goodbye. For anyone that’s done me wrong, I forgive you. And for anyone I may have wronged, I hope you forgive me. If we no longer speak, if I no longer answer your texts or calls, if I no longer drop by it’s because I can’t. I can’t go on living the life I used to. I am no longer the person you used to know and I don’t plan on falling back into old patterns. I can’t go on associating with the people or places that aren’t congruent with my current trajectory. I say that with no malice. I truly wish everyone the absolute best, I hope that you can understand. I am doing this for me and mine. Finally. Finally, I get it. Finally, I understand that this is what it takes. Finally, I want it bad enough to sever those ties. I never got it before. I never understood how to love from a distance or why it was necessary. I used to look at people doing exactly what I’m doing now and judge them, think of them as weak for not being able to achieve higher while surrounded by the same old shit. I get it now. You can’t stay in same situation and expect different results. So, when I severed ties it’s because I finally understand what I need to do to be the best version of me and I’m sorry you didn’t quite fit into that picture. Distancing ourselves from the chaos was and is the only way out. Making that decision was in no way easy and some days it’s still tough and feels lonely, but that’s only when I get caught in a negative mindset. All in all my life is astonishingly better and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I hope that each and every one of you attain the happiness I’ve been able to find in the calmness that is now my life. I don’t miss the chaos, I don’t miss the instability, I don’t miss the uncertainty, I don’t miss anything my old life had to offer. I sometimes miss everyone I used to know, but I don’t miss anything that comes with continuing those relationships. Those relationships, no matter how close they were, are the quickest way back down the rabbit hole. So, no matter how tough the decision, I will continue doing what is best for my family and me.