Gross is the new gorgeous

I think everyone is aware that kids are fucking gross and if you’re thinking “my kids aren’t gross” you’re a fucking liar because all kids are gross. I don’t mean that in a bad way at all, it’s just a fact. Before I had kids I always said I’d never be able to deal with snot, or vomit, or shit, or sticky everything, or not having personal space. I come before you today to tell you that’s all complete bullshit now. After you have kids that all changes. My two tiniest babies are sick; diarrhea and puke EVERYWHERE. Last night on my way to my moms my tiny princess shit through her entire outfit, all over herself, her car seat, and her daddy (who unwittingly pulled her out of her seat before the catastrophe was apparent). We brought her inside, I stripped her down, and gave her an emergency bath, and then scrubbed shit out of her car seat with baby wipes (I did throw the outfit away because fuck that). Then on our way home she’s a screaming maniac and pukes all over herself! I pull her out of her car seat and she throws up again, this time all over me. So, I held her the rest of the way home, both of us covered in puke and she again got another emergency bath while her daddy tore apart her now very dirty and smelly car seat to be washed. She had diarrhea all night and all morning, she cried and coughed and sneezed all night. She insisted on using my entire body as a tissue, beat up her daddy in her sleep all night, shared my pillow and coughed in my face all night long. Kids are fucking gross, but I’ve never been happier to catch vomit in my hands, scrub shit off another human being, or use my own outfit as tissue. I never thought I’d enjoy seeing sticky handprints all over the recently cleaned floors. I never thought I’d love having another person constantly in my bubble. The things I thought would irritate the shit out of me or that I found too gross to handle are just normal things in my life today. My personal bubble doesn’t exist; Arie showers with me frequently, we share a pillow, she’s constantly trying to crawl in back into my vagina I swear to god. Kaja is still just little but I’ve been pissed and shit on more times than I can count, his chunky milk burps in my face are adorable and he would absolutely prefer to sleep on that same pillow I share with Arie than in his own bed and most mornings Jaxton wakes up and comes into our room to snuggle in bed with all of us. Every disgusting bit of my life is a fucking blessing; every leaking shitty diaper, every runny nose across my outfit, every handful of puke, every wet kiss, every hot sweaty snuggle, every sticky icky hand print, and every sassy retort. Kids are gross and they make me gross, but being a mom makes me feel more beautiful than anything in the entire world. These little people don’t see what’s on the outside, their loving little eyes bore right down to my soul. I love every sticky icky, snotty, pukey, poopy, wonderful, beautiful moment.