I’ve thought about it

I’ve been thinking about my struggles with my mental health lately and here’s what I’ve come up with, sometimes you don’t want/need a solution. A podcast my husband listens to describes depression as a magnification of the past and anxiety as a magnification of the future. Right now I feel neither of those are accurate in describing how I’ve been feeling. What is going on in my head is a magnification of my present situation, which is causing me extreme distress at times…quite a lot lately. I’ve been complaining that I need more help or I have too much to do or I’m overwhelmed or exhausted or just crying. Because everything I feel right now I feel to the extreme and that’s new to me. I’m not used to feeling everything so much, if that makes sense. Everyone has been offering me help or asking how they can help and until today I haven’t known exactly what I need for help. I’ve decided I don’t think I need solutions to my problems. What I want is my feelings validated and the opportunity to sit with those feelings and to have someone just sit with me in those feelings until they pass. There’s no way to mute or opt out of my feelings. There’s no way to make them pass faster or to change them immediately. I’ve been doing my daily routine and wondering why I still feel this way and I think it’s because I’ve been denying myself the time to sit and feel and process these feelings. I may be magnifying and exaggerating everything going on around and inside me right now, but I need to acknowledge my feelings no matter how ridiculous they might seem. Every feeling is valid and I haven’t been validating my own feelings. So, I’ve decided that the only way anyone is really going to help is by allowing me to process my own feelings and maybe a nonjudgmental hug.