Progress

Progress looks different for different people. At times I forget this. At times I get down on myself because I look at myself in comparison to other people. At times I feel like I’m failing because I’m not where other people my age are. At times I forgot my journey is not the same at anyone else’s. At times I forget to give myself grace. At times I forget what I’ve come up from. No two people are on the same journey. You shouldn’t compare your progress with the progress of anyone else because your progress is going to look entirely different than theirs. I have to remind myself constantly that I am far better off today than I was even just two years ago. I have to remind myself that even though I’m doing what most people would consider “normal” things to do that those ARE progress for me because I’ve NEVER done them successfully before. A lot of people, myself included at times, lack the ability to see the progress in doing the things you’re SUPPOSED to do in society. I have been in long term sobriety. Obviously you’re not supposed to do drugs, so sometimes that gets down played. I got a job that I show up for ever shift early. Well, you’re supposed to work in an functional society. Yeah well, I haven’t worked a steady job in probably two years. I’ve gotten our two youngest into daycare and am in the process of getting our 5 year old into kindergarten. Well, as a parent you’re supposed to do that. I’ve never had to before. I’ve been making and going to doctors appointments for myself and all the children. You’re supposed to do that. Yep, I know but I’ve never gone much myself and someone else always did it for me for the kids. We have health insurance and the child support is being paid regularly. Well, isn’t that supposed to happen. Yep, but we’ve never been good about it. We’ve got two cars that run so we can each get to work and get the kids to and from school. Don’t most families? Probably, but this is a first for us. We’re three kids deep in my in laws basement. Don’t most families normally have their own home? Most likely, but we did and it wasn’t a good situation so we swallowed our pride and asked for help and here we are; fixing our credit and saving up for an actual home. I cannot discredit our progress because we’re just now achieving things most people have done for years. These are huge changes in our life. If I look at where we’ve been versus where we are now we have taken huge leaps and bounds in our lives and ourselves. We are growing, changing, and improving daily. I cannot discredit our progress because it looks different than anyone else’s. Our progress is huge. Our progress is amazing. Our progress is an eternal blessing. I am so proud of how far we’ve come. I am so proud of the work we have and continue to put in. I am proud of the future we envision and continue working toward. I am so proud of us.