Watch me

Here’s a sad fact I’m beginning to realize more and more; not everyone that claims to be on your team is actually cheering you on. I’m going to paraphrase a couple quotes here I heard recently that really resonated with me. Andy Frisella says personal excellence is the best form of rebellion and Dr Jordan Peterson says beauty is intimidating because by comparison it makes the ugly glow. People will feign excitement when you start doing better because that’s what you’re supposed to do. You’re not supposed to openly oppose someone getting their shit together and actually succeeding. So, they’ll clap and cheer out loud and silently hope for your downfall or worse even begin to plot on it. It’s ugly. Some people can’t stand to see you do better because when you were failing it made them look so much better by comparison. It’s truly ugly and despicable on a different kind of level. I think everyone is guilty of it at one point or another, but something I’ve learned is that if you focus that energy you’ve wasted on jealousy, envy, and even hatred to just love yourself you’ll make it a lot further. People stuck on this negative frequency just trying to lower people to their level as opposed to trying to level themselves up to match or exceed the thing they’re envious of are the ugliest type of people. I spent a good portion of my life hating myself and hating anyone who was achieving things I didn’t think possible for me to do. I’ve changed that. I fucking love myself. I think I’m fucking great and I know I’m capable of astounding things and I’m still envious of people a lot, but in a good way. I let that envy drive me to be better, to achieve more, to reach a new level. At this point in my life I wouldn’t even consider being mad at someone for straight killing it, I’d never consider dragging someone down to a lower vibration because of my own insecurities. And for a minute I started taking it personally that these people would want me to fail; until I realized it’s not my fucking problem. It’s not. It’s not my problem that I’m crushing life so hard that now you’re intimidated by my success. It’s not my problem that you think so little of yourself that you don’t think either of us is worthy of success. It’s not my problem that I’m achieving the things you said I’d never be able to do, but pretended you wanted for me. It’s not my problem that I’m exceeding all expectations and that upsets you. And you know what? I genuinely feel bad for you. I wish you knew you are capable of so much more than you’re settling for. I wish you knew that you can do anything. I wish you knew that you can be happy. I wish that you’d find what I’ve found. I wish that you would love yourself. And to anyone reading this I hope that you have a great day not just the day you deserve. I hope you have the best day you’ve ever had, especially y’all mother fuckers plotting anyone’s downfall. Because maybe if you got a taste of true happiness you’d understand it doesn’t come from extinguishing someone else’s. I hope you all find what makes you truly beautiful.