“Hard” is a matter of perspective

So, my husband and I went to listen to someone speak about breaking the generational curse of addiction, or should I say they ATTEMPTED to speak on this. This person oozed so much anxiety about potentially fucking up their own children that the air in the room was so dense you could almost choke on it. I think we would have gotten nearly the same take away from that tight chested spiel if they had just gotten up there and screamed in terror at full volume for that same hour. The thing that struck me the most was I kept hearing the statement “it’s just hard”. I heard that over and over again. This person has obviously lived through some serious trauma and is entirely consumed with making sure their children don’t have to go through what they did to the point of making their own life absolutely miserable. From what I heard they’re doing everything with the mindset “I have to do this or else”. I have to stay sober or else I’ll fuck my kids up. I have to go to meetings or else I’ll fuck my kids up. I have to get my kids involved in everything I can or else I’ll fuck my kids up. I have to marry their dad or else I’ll fuck my kids up. I have to do couples counseling or else I’ll fuck my kids up. I have to monitor everything they do or else I’ll fuck my kids up. I have to buy a house or else I’ll fuck my kids up. Everything they did was out of guilt from past fuck ups and fear of the future. It was almost mortifying to hear and watch. I felt so bad for them. Absolutely your life is going to be “hard” if you’re only operating your life out of fear and guilt of the “or else”. We cannot control the future, we cannot change the past, we only have today. If you’re living today regretting yesterday and worrying about tomorrow then today is going to SUCK! “Hard” is all about your perspective. None of recovery, none of life in general has to be “hard”. You are the only one that makes your life hard. Some things may be more challenging than others because things are new or different and you’re not sure how to handle them, but you can learn. You can learn from every mistake and every new experience and add that to your tool bag to solve similar problems in the future so that it doesn’t have to be as challenging. Your life should never stay “hard”, challenging is good. Challenging means growing, but hard means you’re resisting that growth and change and trying to stay exactly where you’ve comfortably plateaued. Hard means you’re resisting the Universe’s guidance to move on. Hard means you insist on being stuck where you don’t belong. If you’re one of those folks that thinks constantly that your life is “so hard” maybe take a moment to look at your life, where you are, where you want to go, and what the fuck you’ve actually been doing. Your motivation for doing anything should simply be to be better than you were yesterday. Self improvement and the improvement of those around you should be your sole motivation for movement. You shouldn’t act solely out of emotion; ie fear, anger, regret, sadness, or even joy. Emotions are temporary and fleeting and if you’re living your life controlled by them you’re going to end up making decisions that don’t serve you in the long run. You must live decisively. You must live knowing you only have the power to control today. You must live knowing you made the best possible choices you could’ve today. You must live to just be the best you can be today and aim to be just the smallest bit better tomorrow. When you go to sleep at night I want you to think about how you fucking crushed today and I want you to think about things you maybe could’ve done better and then tomorrow I want you to focus on not repeating yesterdays mistakes. And do that every night. How did I win, what did I learn that I do not need to repeat tomorrow? You are in control. Grab the fucking reins and take control. Quit LETTING life happen TO you and MAKE life happen FOR you.