Happy Happy Happy

Y’all wanna know what I just thought of? For the first time basically ever I have had no desire to get high, none. I think that’s how I know I’m actually genuinely happy and right in the world. No matter what’s happened recently, no matter how I’ve I felt; getting high hasn’t crossed my mind even once. It doesn’t even sound like fun to me at this point. I’ve worked so hard to get to where I’m at. Getting high would ruin EVERYTHING and it’s absolutely not worth the short lived feel goods. The life I have now took time and so much effort to get and I have so much further I want to go. Getting high and the lifestyle that comes with it is not congruent with my current goals. I’ve been so used to chaos in my life that sometimes stability seems boring, but even so I haven’t considered getting high an option. I am so proud of myself and my husband for the changes we’ve made and continue to make every day. I can see the changes reflect in our lives constantly especially in how our attitudes have changed, how we handle situations, and how we conduct ourselves. When I look at who I was just a year ago and how I am now, the difference is astounding; I don’t even recognize that person. I hadn’t realized that I had been searching for my happiness in places that existed outside myself. Real happiness exists, but you have to find it within yourself. Quit searching for your happiness in the places that you lost it. Try something new, look within yourself and decide to actually put in the work it takes to heal and move on. It’s easy to be a fuck up and stay miserable, it takes no work to stay stuck exactly where you are right now. Change and growth is uncomfortable, but oh so worth it. Once you start the uncomfortable process one day you’ll wake up and realize how worth while these changes have been. One day discomfort will be your comfort zone because you’ll associate it with growth and happiness. So get uncomfortable and find your happy.