All feelings all valid but that doesn’t make them true. That being said sometimes I feel like I fall short in places. I love love love being at home with my kids, but I know financially it would be incredibly helpful if I went back to work. And I would love to go back to school, but I tried once already and it didn’t go well. I literally couldn’t make time to get all of the work done and to be honest I fucking hate school, I can’t sit there and focus, I can’t concentrate on reading a book or doing homework, my brain just scatters. My husband is looking at going back to school and I support that a million percent, he’s a fucking genius and the most determined human being I’ve ever met and I know that he’s fully capable of doing anything he puts his mind to. But I feel bad that he would work full time and go to school full time, he would be so busy and I don’t want him to stress out about anything, because I know he will. I want to be able to get a job and help with money to kind of lighten the load. I feel like I just don’t do enough. He works his ass off and wants to go to school and work his ass off there too and I sit at home with our two youngest and I still can’t make time to put away the same pile of clean laundry that’s been on our floor for two weeks. I just want to feel like I’m putting in as much effort as he is, I want to feel like I support our family as much as he does. Sometimes I just feel utterly useless and I know that isn’t true, but sometimes those negative feelings are hard to shake and it helps to talk it out, you know?
Falling short
I’m Working on It 
I am sorry you are going through a slump. I get it. I do. You do have value, you do contribute. If you had to get childcare for your kids, would you be just working for childcare?
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We would get a scholarship for them but it’ll probably still be pretty close for a one year old and a one month old 😕
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You are at risk for post partum. If you have a one month old and have feelings of not contributing enough. Please keep an eye on your mental health..
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Stay the course, trust life. In a year you’ll be in a different place worried about different problems that are associated to the new you. Time and consistency, time and consistency.
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Hello Taylor,
I can relate a lot to this, and I raised three kids (I’m an older lady now) and helped with my grandchildren. I would like to encourage you to keep having a loving and caring attitude toward your husband and children. It is my opinion that there is no higher calling than to raise your children with love and the security only you and your husband can give them. You are to be applauded, and I’m happy to chat with you any time if I may be of help or encouragement in sorting this out. God bless you.
Cate Covert (aka Pastora Cate)
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Thank you so much for your support 💕
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Maybe my comment is useless to you but my mother had went to college had to leave with the plan to later return, and she held jobs.
But there was a time she stayed home with me from early years on up and that was a very important role. I am not a mother but from having been a child I know that being a mother is genuine respectable work. Every woman is not a mother just because she gives birth to a child.
As a person, of course you are more than a mother with other capabilities, but I treasured the years my mother spent raising me- she put her skills and knowledge into managing, budgeting the home along with a lot of other responsibilities that came along.
Maybe until you are able to go back out into the working field you can use your abilities in other ways that may satisfy your desire to take so much of the load off of your husband as you see it.
You need to look at it this way- you and your husband are both pulling the weight but on different scales. Both of the scales are vital and it does not make you or your role any less.
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Thank you, I needed this 💕
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Of course. Just stay positive and appreciate the blessings you currently and already have. Everything will fall into place.❤
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