I lost my faith in “God” a long time ago and was steadfast in my disbelief for a long time after that. After all I saw and had been through I thought there was no way there was a god and if there was I wanted no part of it. The way I had pictured “God” before I feel like is the way a lot of people might picture it; some dude floating around in the clouds damning sinners to hell while watching us fuck each other up as a part of their whole sick master plan. I have since found my faith and a prefer not to use the term “God”, I prefer to call it “the universe”, because I feel like the term “God” puts too much pressure on the word. I feel the universe is not a being but a divine, omnipotent, and benevolent energy. I believe the universe is kind and just. I believe that it has a beautiful life planned for each and every one of us, but we have our own free will to deviate from that plan if we so choose. We can either live a shittier existence, go right on course, or live a better existence than the universe even planned out for us. I believe that when you deviate from the course toward something worse the universe tries to get you back on track and matches the energy you put out into the world. You want to do wrong then shit shall flock toward you. If you try to stay the course or even outshine it’s plan for you it matches your energy and good things flock your way. I believe that the universe constantly tests you in ways, but it never throws anything at you that you can’t handle. Everything in your life is a lesson, if you’re willing to listen and learn from it. I believe the universe answers prayers, but prayers must be matched with action. The universe doesn’t simply grant wishes; if you pray for it you must also work for it. The way that makes most sense for me to explain my faith is using the wind and gravity. You can never actually see it, but you can see it at work. For example you see the wind blow on a tree and the leaves are pulled off and blow around for a while before gravity acts on them and they fall to the ground. You know it was the wind and gravity that both lifted and then dropped the leaves. Why do you know this? You didn’t actually see anyone out there taking the leaves off and waving them around before throwing them on the ground. You only saw the leaves everything else is up to your faith that it was the forces of the wind and gravity even though you can’t actually see them. The universe is just like that; it is an ever present and continuously acting force. The universe doesn’t want bad things to happen and it certainly doesn’t just make bad things happen; we as people with our free will do. People tend to blame “God” for all sorts of unreasonable things. You’re in active addiction and you pray daily for your life to change, but you keep doing all the same shit without actually changing anything. Then one day you get arrested and blame God as you sit in jail detoxing when in reality your arrest was your blessing. You weren’t willing to do the work to change, so there was divine intervention, whether you are going to understand and utilize that blessing is entirely up to you. Sometimes things happen in life that are completely out of our control, but if you can find the lesson in it you can always come out stronger. You can’t blame god, the universe, or whatever you want to call it for the wrong in your life or the wrong in the world. You put yourself exactly where you are in life and the universe is giving you tools to keep moving, if you keep cursing your blessings in disguise you will never go anywhere but where you are right now. Find your faith, quit blaming god, and start thanking it for this life you’ve been given by finding your daily blessings.
Finding “God”
I’m Working on It 
It will take some doing for people to stop blaming God. Until after true repentance perhaps.
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Some people need something to blame other than themselves for their suffering in life. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is self inflicted.
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I agree to a point. I don’t blame God for anything. But people can control you by simply not seeing you fit for a job just by how you look. I love my life and its imperfection…but it’s sad sometimes…but I’m never blame God.
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People can be awful, judgmental, and hateful. But people can also be kind, compassionate, and loving.
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May I ask if you ever believed there was a devil? I’m just always curious when people who believe in God AND satan choose to blame God.
In any case, I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties and may you continue to heal and grow ❤️
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I don’t believe in a devil necessarily. I believe evil is man made and evil is learned. You don’t see animals going around committing horrendous acts just because and babies aren’t born with inherent evil.
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That’s very similar to what I believed in the new age. Thanks for taking the time to reply 😊
(About animals… they do. Out of boredom and dominance. But that’s a real ugly rabbit hole you don’t want to go down, and I get what you’re saying 👍)
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Of course! 😁
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While I do believe, I do think the God that churches invested is a term to exercise control and obedience by the church more so than the actual following of a set of principles to live by which could easily be translated to values. I cringe when I walk into a church and hear a pastor boast about raising 100k for the church and where he is essentially thanking his clergy and patrons for blessing him with a new Mercedes. That money should not be for his conveniences, it should be to help others. I remember many pastors who did practice this way, they had a day job and made money for themselves and the church was a way to give back to the community. Even the churches have gotten greedy, and like the church did, people use God to justify their actions… I agree with your universum….
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I am also not a fan of organized religion. I associate it mostly with greed and corruption. I find my spiritual connection more in nature than anywhere else
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Hello Taylor Mar!! My name is Tim Stroh and I share my experience, strength and hope with Treatment Centers in the area! I volunteer to speak!! I read your Finding “God” blog and was very impressed with how you grew spiritually! It is a process and your journey is commendable!! I would like permission to share your April 23rd blog with others who are struggling to find their connection with a “Higher Power “. It is a well written experience and explanation of someone’s struggles and growth in their spirituality! I love you raw honesty!! Thank you and have a blessed day!
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Tim, I would be incredibly honoured to have you share any of my blog posts with whomever you think would benefit from them! That’s my entire goal with creating this blog; to help, to share struggles and wins, trials and tribulations, to help people find the light that I have! Share away my friend and thank you for reading!
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