Don’t be a sack of shit

Children, no matter their age, all want a good, loving, supportive relationship with both their parents. The relationship may be damaged, there may be anger, or resentments, or whatever; regardless children WANT that relationship to be positive. No matter their age or what the problem is in that relationship it is NEVER the responsibility of the child to try and mend that relationship. Let me say that again; IT IS NEVER THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE CHILD TO MEND THE RELATIONSHIP. It doesn’t matter if the child is 65 and the parents are 85 the child wants a good relationship and it is not their job to attempt to fix what is broken. No matter what the parent is always the parent and the child is always the child. You can be mad, you can be sad, you can be hurt but that will never change the roles. If that relationship is to continue it is solely on the parent. To blame a child for not attempting to maintain a relationship with a parent that deep down they so desire is like dropping your dog off at your neighbor’s while you go on vacation, never picking it up, and then being mad at the dog for not coming home. We could even add another layer to that, while your mad at the dog for never coming home you’re also upset at the neighbor for keeping your dog from you. Hey buddy, you left the dog there, that dog misses you, but you never came and got it. You asked the neighbor to keep it while you were gone, you never told them when you got home, and you never went to pick the dog up. Your neighbor didn’t ask for this, the dog didn’t ask for this, so what the fuck are you mad about? You did this! I hear parents all the time, “well, their other parent keeps the kid from me” “well, I don’t approve of my kids life choices” “well, my kid won’t talk to me” “well, my kid doesn’t invite me to stuff” “well, my kid hurt my feelings” SHUT THE FUCK UP! Seriously, shut the fuck up with your poor me victim mentality. You, as the parent, are NEVER the victim in a damaged relationship with your child and if you think you are get the fuck away from me and reevaluate your life. It’s not your child’s job to reach out, it’s not your child’s job to consider your feelings, it’s not your child’s job to do things your way. Your child is going to be your child forever, they are always going to seek your approval, they are always going to want you to be in their life, they are always going to hope you’ll come around. No matter what they say, how they act, how old they are; they always want you. They want you to call, they want you to show up, they want you to apologize, they just want you. Your children want you. The parent child relationship is the only one where one party will forever be seeking a relationship with the other. Any excuse you have as a parent for not showing up for your child is complete and total bullshit. Your child wants you to at least try. They want you to put in the effort. They want to feel like they’re wanted. They want to feel like they’re worth it. Your child doesn’t want to feel like an option. If you think you’re hurting by not having a relationship with your child I can promise you the pain that child is feeling is so much more intense than any pain you’re feeling. Drop the excuses, quit being selfish and pick up your phone, hop in your car, do whatever it is you need to and show your kids that you love them. That’s all they’ve ever wanted.